Firmness, Respect, and Results

What starts out as “good advice” often morphs into this is “God’s design” or “God’s way.” At least that’s the way we hear it.

In last week’s article, I suggested three “tones” you could employ when correcting your student. Before I relate a story in which a “firm tone” was employed, one that made a big difference in an elementary student’s life, I want to underscore that what I’m suggesting is designed to promote educational accountability, not guarantee it.

Years ago AT&T coined a slogan that went like this, “The System is the Solution.” That kind of thinking has led to the creation of countless seminars and workshops on home schooling and child-rearing practices that leave you with the impression that if you attend a certain event (theirs), you’ll go home with The Formula you’ve been looking for, or been missing….

In an article released a few years ago by Jane Huges, Health Correspondent for the BBC, the case was made by Oxford researchers for the cause of certain behavioral problems experienced by young children, specifically lying and stealing. The cause: they were formula fed!

Some in the Christian community would use this article to guilt themselves, and others, into “proving” that God’s way works, whereas man’s way doesn’t. In other words, natural equals good, maybe even godly; technology equals bad and in some cases worldly. The solution for sin is….. not Jesus, but nutrition. Right?

(You can read the article yourself at http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-13336986 if you’d like.)

I have to admit I like control. I like to have things “figured out.” I’m naturally drawn to systems, formulas, and “silver bullets.” But, live long enough and you’ll find that systems, formulas, and “silver bullets” typically break down and eventually fail. As I relate an incident where I employed a “firm tone” to bring correction, please take what I’m saying as simply advice. Yes, there was definitely a successful outcome, but don’t take what I did as “do it this way and the result is guaranteed.”

I once tested a fifth-grade student who did not pass. Knowing the student and family personally, I was convinced that the results of the test did not reflect his true capability. I suggested he re-test after a few weeks of review, and so a month later, he returned for a second testing session. His scores came out about the same, maybe even a little lower.

With the parent’s permission, I sat down privately with him and found out what was really going on. I suspected that he was under achieving on purpose which he admitted to me. He thought that by failing the test, he would be required to go to public school which is what he wanted.

Using a firm and in this case very forceful and serious tone, I explained that no, he would not be going to public school on the basis of “failing” the achievement test. That wasn’t an option for this family. I said a third testing session would simply be scheduled, and if necessary, a fourth, etc. until his score reflected his true ability. We could continue on through the entire summer if needed.

He passed the next test in the above-average range.

Promoting accountability through your tone will always fall somewhere between a soft delivery (support) and a firm delivery (demand). Like I said before, your tone will promote but not guarantee because no system of steps, ways, or principles can guarantee a desired result, although some approaches may make it more likely.

Thanks for reading!

Curt Bumcrot, MRE

As a home school parent, you may not feel equipped to teach every high school level subject. That’s why we have qualified teachers who teach full credit courses in English, math, science, and electives here at our Oregon City location. Pick just one class to take, or sign up for several! But don’t hesitate to register soon in order to secure your spot for next year. Click here to see our course catalog or click here to enroll.