Living Memento Mori Part 1: Getting and Handling Bad News

Eventually we will all get news which is hard to bear and sometimes almost impossible to take. It could range from “disappointment”-something like needing to change or cancel vacation plans to “unbearable”- a serious financial reversal, a marriage that ends, a life-threatening illness, etc.  How do you handle this?

Emily DeArdo was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis at age 11. In one sense her life was now forever changed. In another sense, it seemed to not have changed at all. She left the hospital where the diagnosis was made and went back to school the following week. When she returned home, there was homework to be completed, a bedroom she was expected to keep clean, and chores to do. While her life had been turned up-side down, the world, as she put it, “didn’t seem to notice.”

That’s the way it works. You may be in shock, but there will be few friends or relatives who “get it.” The best most can muster is, “Oh, I’m really sorry to hear that.” Then, it’s back to the tasks and demands of their own life. It’s not their fault they don’t get it. They’ve got their own busy life to manage. 

How does Living Memento Mori play out in this scenario? Well, two things to think about. The first, depending on the seriousness of the news, is that we will likely slow down and put things in perspective. By this I mean that the little things that in the past would get under our skin, that we would obsess over, will be seen for what they really are, simply “little things.” Not as important as what we made them out to be.

Secondly, if we are part of a faith tradition, we will recognize that we won’t be walking this path alone, that God is with us. This is something that rationally won’t make sense, as true as it may be. That won’t mean the path will be easier. There will be times when we will feel abandoned and moving through this solo.

More on this in my next post.

Thanks for reading,

Curt Bumcrot, MRE

To read more of Emily’s story, click here.

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