Living Memento Mori Part 11: Death and Toxic Platitudes
I’m sure you’ve heard the following before. Maybe even said one of them to someone, even to yourself. I have.
Just stay positive
Everything happens for a reason
Things will work out
Look on the bright side
If I was in a car accident and walked away with minor injuries, one of the above statements could be encouraging. Maybe with the exception of, “everything happens for a reason.”
If, though, one of your children died in a fatal car crash, someone saying any one of the above to you would be the height of insensitivity, bring further hurt, and increase your suffering.
The problem we all wrestle with, and I know I have, is finding a world view, a lens we can apply to make sense and help us cope with the chaotic world we live in. Being “out of control” for too long a period of time gets to most of us. Our pain and problems get worse when we absolutize and apply cliches like those above to all situations and circumstances- turning them into mantras. They become toxic. Sadly, many Christians who gravitate toward this kind of thinking exercise little moral reasoning. No need! They’ve got their verses!
The 12th station, Jesus dies on the cross, is unthinkable, impossible to comprehend and process.
Yet, death is an eventuality for all of us.
Ernest Becker, a cultural anthropologist, wrote The Denial of Death 50 years ago. In this book he argues that because we fear death so greatly, much of our behavior is focused on ignoring, avoiding, and suppressing what is inescapable. This is pretty obvious with just a cursory glance at the products and services are being marketed to us online. Some commercial efforts target those of us who are drawn to immortality projects. Others focus on selling to those who are susceptible to hedonistic activities.
Regardless of the path we’ve chosen that feeds our need to ignore, avoid and suppress, death is coming for each of us. I don’t like thinking about this any more than you do, but by not facing it, our lives risk being shallow and under-developed in substance and character, lacking an eternal perspective.
Emily DeArdo, in commenting on the 12th station of the cross, writes, “you will physically die once in your life. But before that moment, there are so many little deaths that can influence the course of your life.”
By this she means things like:
unrealized dreams and hopes from our youth
financial reversals
relationships that can’t fixed
physical limitations
Living memento mori in light of these little deaths and the eventual final physical death we will all face can help. We’re all affected; we’re all in this together. Next week I’ll provide some practical and hopefully helpful perspectives on what this might look like.
Thanks for Reading!
Curt Bumcrot, MRE
Spring Testing begins next month. Are you looking for in person on site testing? Check out the dates and examiners available by clicking here!
Get your student ready by utilizing one of our practice tests. Both The One Hour Practice Test and Achieving Peak Performance will do the job. Available in instant download and paper copy formats!
